Monday, January 28, 2008

Rambo Rampage

I have a little quiz for all of you to see who is a fan or wouldn't be a fan of the new Rambo movie.

Have you ever:

Ripped someone's throat out?
Shot a 50 cal machine gun?
Sliced a person's stomach open just to watch their insides come out?
Screamed in terror and agony at a baby thrown into a fire?
Wanted to go on a rampage and lay waste to a jungle with 50 cal machine gun?
Wanted to fight for the freedom of another group of people who were less fortunate than you?

If you answered yes or would like to to any of the above questions, may I suggest: RAMBO!

The fourth movie in the franchise and the most ironically named, Rambo features an aged war veteran living his retirement in the jungle by selling boat trips up or downriver and catching pythons and various other snakes for wrestling or charming or some such shit.

I was a fan of the Rambo series for what they were. Action films. I never watched them trying to look for the greater message behind the man or the spiritual connection one sometimes feels when a Man fights for his country. No, I'm not an idiot. I watch movies, sometimes, to be entertained.

And this did not disappoint. Tearing through people like a fucking hurricane, this movie killed more people on screen then I think I've ever seen. And I'm one of those people that when something is horribly violent, I kinda chuckle. Let's just say I laughed heartily during this movie as the violence and gore was so abundant that it made me feel like I was about to get splattered in blood.

Read Petey's blog for a similar message/statement, but there was a PREGNANT woman sitting in front of me. The horrors of Burma and the various death scenes do not scream take your pregnant wife to this movie. This movie is all about the guys, and we were almost OUTNUMBERED BY WOMEN IN THE THEATER.

Everybody apparently went and saw Meet the Spartans instead. To that I say:

You poor dumb mother fuckers.

By far, a highly entertaining film, Rambo should have gotten first. For the sheer excitement of seeing a truly evil person torn apart and turned into swiss cheese by the 50 cal, this movie was not a disappointment at all.

Probably because I didn't go in looking for a message.


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