Friday, May 25, 2012

Running Up That Hill

It doesn't hurt me, you wanna feel how it feels, you wanna know know that it doesn't hurt me, you wanna hear about the deal I'm making...

Here's the deal: Since 2008, I've been writing comic books. I'm pretty damn good at it. I think. Some people tell me. Some people think I'm a big deal. That's great. That's fantastic. But that's not all there is to it.

Comics is a constant hike up a very steep hill. A steep hill that is made of sand and blood and guts and tears and lost dreams and fallen hopes. Just like writing in general. You can equate it to writing a novel. Writing a screenplay. Writing anything at all.

You could write a bible and get a million followers and it still wouldn't be enough. You need to make a deal with someone sometimes, and some days it's the devil and some days it's a god. Most days, you're making the deal with yourself.

You're going to write today.

You're going to create.

You're going to dream.

You're not going to give up.

That's a big one. The hill will face you as you try and overtake it. You will try everything in your power to exchange one experience for another. You will write a book or a comic that day. And some days, you lose. You give in and you fail.

Recently, I'm failing more than I'm winning. I'm losing. I'm running up that hill, but I keep falling backwards.

I keep falling and falling and falling. It's like asking to swap places with someone for a day. For one day, it's all well and good. That person can live your life and see your misery and you can see theirs.

Other days, unfortunately, you're on your own. Writing is a lot like that. Most days, you're on your own. You're your own worst enemy and your biggest fan at the exact same time.

I need to be my own biggest fan more than my worst enemy, but sadly, most days I'm the enemy.

Time to start fighting back.


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