Monday, December 22, 2008

Fear and Loathing in Overland Park pt 68-74

The month of October. 2008

Part 68

Who's to blame? Who's to blame for all the bad that is going on in this world as the economy tanks, the housing market collapses, and we're all starting to look more and more like we're going to devolve into a Road Warrior type lifestyle?

Who's to blame?

Well, if you believe this presidential election, it's all the other guy's fault. If you're voting for Obama, it's McCain's fault. It's McCain's fault for being a "maverick" and mentioning how he had to go to Washington to make sure the bailout was approved and then, oh look, it wasn't.

If you're voting for McCain, it's all Obama's fault, because his ideas all cost money, and he's been taking money from Fannie and Freddie May for a long time now, hasn't he?

It's enough to make your head spin. Right? Spin spin away.

But it all goes back to Student Council. That's right, Student Council.

You see, I went to Catholic school for most of my life. And right now, you're thinking to yourself, that explains a lot. Well, it does. I went to Catholic school, and I was never one to vote for Student Council or run for STUCO either. And it wasn't about politics. Or popularity. Or anything stupid. I'm not going to blame my failures or my successes on someone else, because that's what this is all about, accountability.

You see, just like in your grade school and/or high school, STUCO was all about the promises you could make. It was all about getting pizza into the cafeteria every week (and good pizza, Pizza Hut Pizza!) and getting soda machines for the students and longer recesses. More classes that we liked and less we didn't.

It was all about making the promise. Not actually keeping one or making one that was sound and completely capable of being met. It was all about making a promise and getting each and every one of us swept up in the whole nonsense that we would think to ourselves man do I love Pizza Hut Pizza and Pepsi that we would then vote with our stomachs.

Of course, on down the road these STUCO winners never actually did anything. What the hell did a STUCO treasurer need to do in 8th grade anyways? What could they do? Were they going to get funding from the county for new social clubs and/or events? Were they going to get funding for a Bounce-A-Round so that we could all get on that moon bounce one last time before we graduated?

It was all figureheads. And once they were in "office," they blamed us for the promises not being met. It was our fault that we didn't get the soda machines because we didn't raise enough money at the bake sale. Or the magazine drive. Or any of those stupid nonsensical idiot things we had to do growing up for no reason.

So here we are, on the verge of complete and utter economic meltdown, and we're all blaming each other. My father-in-law sends my wife an email telling her this will prove who you should vote for, when in reality the email and survey were created by Anti-Obamans. The same thing happened to me only sent from Anti-McCains. It's all the same.

We're all getting caught in the middle. When the economy tanks, who will save it by spending our hard-earned and hard-fought for money on things we don't need? Who will save the economy by paying taxes, buying houses, buying crap like blu-ray movies and completely worthless things in an order to sustain the capitalist world we live in?

Should we then blame ourselves?

Doesn't this feel like an episode of the Hills? Everything is scripted to the last detail and it just so happens that we will blame each other, each and every one of us will blame our neighbors, our gonzos, and our family.

It's ridiculous.

Think of it this way. Comic books.

I've been a fan of comic books (as my blogs about the Dark Knight can attest to) for getting close to 20 years. That's right. 20 years. Starting with cartoons and action figures and going into a full-blown comic book collecting mania, I've been through the low and the high, the boom and the bust, in the comic book market.

In recent history, comic book movies have become the norm and taken over the box office. Taking over the top spots each time they come out and just dominating them (for the most part at least). And the comic book publishers, the editors and presidents of companies like Marvel Comics and DC Comics, consistently can't figure out why comics are still a failing industry as a whole.

So they blame the fans.

They blame the fanboys and fangirls that spend their hard-earned paychecks on collecting a comic book that they've collected almost continuously and invested so much time and effort to over the last 2 decades. They blame us. Their bread and butter. The people who would willingly pay them directly if they could.

They blame us for the failing market when in reality it all comes down to cost and effort.

There is a comic book imprint called MINX that is getting completely cancelled. It was a young adult/teen lit/female inspired comic book line that allowed me an avenue to get a little emo and get my wife to read comics. When the reality of MINX getting cancelled came out, people questioned why this was possible. How could this have happened?

They blamed the comic fans for not purchasing the books.

But you have to stop and think: where were these books? It's all about availability. And most comic book specialty shops rarely carried these books because most comic book specialty shops don't cater to women or girls. 95% of comic fans are boys and young men or older men. It's all a sausage fest for the most part. And the bookstores that should have carried them, the Borders and the Barnes and Nobles of the world, did not keep them readily available and did not give them the same push as they gave the Manga. The Japanese comics that kids eat up in droves like little zombies.

They weren't properly available and the effort would then become the problem. Why scour the world for one MINX book when you can buy 15 different versions of an Iron Man story? Or better yet, why are comic books seeming to fail on the monthly scale when comic book movies do so well at the box office?

Again, cost and effort. Why would a mother of 3 young boys spend the time searching Google or the Yellow Pages to find a specialty comic shop when she could just as easily take the 3 boys to Borders and buy them each a manga for about the price of one hardcover graphic novel? Or better yet, why would that same mother/father try hard to go to the comic shop, pick out a group of single issues of Batman comics, when they could so much easier just go to Borders and grab a graphic novel, already collected in one finite story, and just be done with it?

So easy. That's why one of my favorite things is a failing industry. But still, the leaders blame it on the people who do go through the frustration of searching through boxes and boxes of comics just to find that one gem that they've been looking for and longing for for years. That one book that will complete their run.

Hollyweird and the presidential election are shaping up the same way. Television and everything in our lives right now is all about who can you pass the blame to.

It's never about accepting it on yourself. It's never about trying to change something and be something different. It's just about placing that accountability on someone else. It's all about passing the buck (a term/phrase sure to be used in upcoming months) and it's all about passing it on down the line.

I got in a discussion with one of my gonzo's moms at a party this past weekend, and we talked about the bailout. About how it could be a good thing and it could be a bad thing. Pros and cons. That sort of thing. Not the normal nonsense people talk about at parties, but still, it was strange. I felt and still feel that it was never going to pass in the first place. Not with the way the world is working right now. Everyone is looking out for themselves.

And for that, for the passing of the blame, for the blame game being played, I am scared. I am scared that soon I might have to drive an Interceptor and run down a gang of bikers wearing loincloths and spikes in the desert just for gasoline/oil. I'm worried that in the next year, it will become such a hot commodity that names like Master Blaster and Toe-Cutter won't be so out of the ordinary.

So won't you take a step inside the Thunderdome with me? We can't play the Blame Game there, but the games will be much more exciting and will get the mutants talking.

I suppose there is an upside to the Mad Max type future. I can wear whatever clothing I want and won't look like any more of a freak then that kid with the killer boomerang.
Part 69

This is more important than 69, as once again I’m left thinking about sequels. Remakes.

Sequels. Prequels. Remakes. Requels. Every kind of thing Hollyweird can do to make more money.

I’ve been going strong with this for awhile. It’s one of my dream jobs. To be a screenwriter/director in Hollyweird. To make movies and share my ridiculous ideas with the world on a much broader scale.

Judging by the way Hollyweird is making movies these days, I just figured, yet again I can throw ideas out there. Ideas for things that never need to happen.

And this is what triggered that.

300 part 2.

Either a sequel or a prequel.

Gooch mentioned how we should stop the world from making Blade Runner 2. I humbly submit for your approval yet another film that should be stopped.

300 part 2.

300, a movie that worked because it was based on a historical event that has been fictionalized over and over again. Has been told a number of times but was told, in a graphic novel, by Frank Miller. More on him being a hack later.

He’s signed on to create a new graphic novel depicting either the beginning of the story, a prequel to 300, or do the second battle that they briefly show at the end of the first film, and just tell how the 300,000 or however many they were got there.

What is the point of this movie?

What is the point of making a sequel to a film that worked as a one-off?

Money. Money money money money money.

The almighty dollar strikes again. Anywhere they can bilk fans of these comics and movies out of more of their hard-earned cash just for the sake of 2 hours of some entertainment, they are going to do that. They are going to screw you over, put you over the barrel, and just take you to town.

Because we will go to the theaters and watch them. We will waste our money on a sequel to this.

And they’re already talking about a sequel to Watchmen.

Same scenario. New graphic novel (even though the original series was a 12 issue series that was told over 2 years), new movie.

And if you don’t want spoilers before the eventual movie comes out (barring the lawsuit and legal proceedings, it could be out next March), then skip the next paragraph.

Most of the main characters die. Most either die or are in places where they won’t be worthwhile characters for a sequel story. Oh yeah, and half the population of Earth is massacred. So unless they do a prequel (all signs point to this) then I don’t think there should be any kind of second Watchmen story.

It dilutes the original. It takes away the glory and the beauty that these things create. The comic world was changed when Watchmen came out. Same as when Dark Knight Returns (another Frank Miller story) came out. These stories brought the grim and gritty to comics. The four-color comics world became something darker. Drearier. More realistic. More bastardized. Less spandex and more ass-whooping.

But Frank Miller tarnished his reputation the second he made a sequel to Dark Knight Returns. It is still one of his greatest works (and it’s NOT a graphic novel, it was a four issue mini that has been collected into a graphic novel format, so shut up about graphic novels). But when he created the Dark Knight Strikes Again (with terrible art, hack writing, and crap quality) and it was late every single time it came out, it destroyed the integrity of the original work.

And a sequel to Watchmen could do the same.

More on Frank Miller, he’s the director of the Spirit. If you’ve seen the preview, you know how ridiculous it looks. Some might think it looks cool, others might think it looks exactly like Sin City. But the Spirit is one of the oldest comic characters that wasn’t created by DC or Marvel, and he was a pulp character. He was a detective. He was noir. He wasn’t kooky. He wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t zany. And he deserves better than the piece of crap we’re seeing previews for.

And now, for your humble opinions, more suggestions for sequels.

Tommy Boy 2

Have you ever wondered what happened after Tommy Callahan took over the company? Have you ever wondered what became of his best pal Richard and his evil brother-in-law?

No? Well too bad. Because the world needs to know. I mean, judging by how much of a moron Tommy was in the first movie, you’d think the company would have literally burned to the ground. And that’s how the sequel can open. Tommy Boy 2 could be all about Richard avenging the death of Tommy (as who could really fill Chris Farley’s shoes) and it would allow David Spade to go on zany adventures around the US trying to rebuild the company from the ground up. And guess who helps him? Rob Lowe as the evil brother-in-law who may have caused the destruction of the plant in the first place.

You could play for laughs or for heart. Show the terrible collapse of the modern worker and have the plant jobs all get shipped overseas. I’m seeing Morgan Freeman as the wizened narrator telling the story.

Waterworld 2

Not necessarily made to tarnish the reputation of the original, but in this Waterworld, it’s Westworld (robot movie with Yul Brenner) meets Waterworld, underwater.

Just as dumb as the original. But it could make money. And give all the stars of the original something to do. I’ll bet you could get Jack Black back as the Ski-Doo pilot or whatever stupid roll he had in the original. Make it Mad Max Underwater and you’ve got yourself a sequel.

The Shawshank Mist Mile

A 3-way free-for-all sequel to the Mist, Shawshank Redemption, and the Green Mile. All of the main characters are on death row in Shawshank Redemption and one of the characters, a Lovecraftian creature resembling a squid-lizard hybrid, befriends the local jailer played by Will Smith and helps him heal the sick while actually just eating their souls.

A real home run for the family, and the ending is just as haunting. Smith’s character makes it out of the prison and the world being overrun by a thick fog just in time to see his family eaten by some monster bug at the Pacific Coast beach, and we learn this isn’t actually a sequel to the Mist, it’s a prequel to the Mist and a sequel to Shawshank and the Green Mile. Really screws with your heads.

To top things off, Will Smith goes and becomes a dick of a doctor in New York and moves in next to Thomas Jane in Maine and at the end turns into Andre Braugher. Movie over.

The Thing 2

Set in Antarctica directly following the end of the first movie. Kurt Russell and Keith David reprise their roles as the last two men living at the end of the first film.

Only they’re not really living.

2 hours of 2 guys freezing to death. A real family movie.

Hudsucker Proxy 2

All about the Slinky! The creator of the Slinky hangs himself with the Slinky, thereby surpassing his predecessor, the inventor of the Hula-hoop, because no angel saves him.

He just hangs there, dying.

Get Rich or Die Tryin 2: Died Tryin

He dies tryin to get rich.

Wins best picture and gets 50 Cent noticed as a real actor.

Part of this joke can be attributed to Soul Plane 2. One of the funniest things ever on the Boondocks animated series.

Halloween 77

The joke this time: it’s Labor Day!

James Bond 34

James Bond Jr. takes over for his super-old uncle. That’s right. Somehow, his Uncle is James Bond. Not his dad. Cartoons when I was a child still piss me off. Anyways, he fights Godzilla. And loses. Proving forevermore that Matthew Broderick is a bigger badass than James Bond Jr.

Robocop vs. Terminator vs. Aliens vs. Predator vs. Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash vs. Pirates vs. Leprechauns vs. Batman vs. Superman vs. Army vs. Navy vs. Die Hard

Who wins?


They all team up to fight an asteroid or something.

Thirteen Ghosts 2: Fourteen Ghosts

There’s actually a fourteenth ghost in the house. And it’s Shannon Elizabeth’s career.

Fight Club 2: Fight Clubbier

More Fight Club. More fighting. More man-on-man stuff. More anarchy. More money.

Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Really?

They apparently had more story to tell. This time, Elizabeth can’t decide who to kiss. The Kraken, Johnny Depp, Keith Richards, or some old stuffy British guy in a powder wig. Fans go crazy and it tops the box office for 2 years straight.

I’m out of ideas at this point.

But the point is pretty simple, it has to stop. There has to be a point where we as movie fans say no more. We don’t want a sequel to Donnie Brasco. We don’t want another sequel to James Bond or Jason Bourne or any of those movies. We want something new.

And it’s amazing how much money these movies will continue to make because we will continue to go.

We will continue to pay money for these movies, these atrocities, because we remember the original so vividly that we want so much to be entertained by the new one.

And each time that happens, we’re “blessed” with new Indiana Jones movies and Star Wars movies that are so awful that we have to remind ourselves how good they used to be. We have to remind ourselves why we once loved the original. We have to sit back, stay home, crack open a beer, and watch a DVD just to be reminded of why we ever thought to waste 10+ dollars on some god-awful sequel just because our childhood demanded it.

Now we need to demand more.

The sequels will never stop until Hollyweird realizes that they aren’t easy money. And right now, they are easy money. And we are being had.


Part 70

This begins our tribute to Halloween.


The dirtiest of holidays. The creepiest and by all right, the most fun. This blog will revolve around the movies, TV shows, events, costumes, the little things that make Halloween so much more awesome in my eyes.

It's my wife's favorite holiday. It's the most fun to celebrate. When else do you get to let your freak flag fly high in the air (besides a comic/movie/sci-fi convention).

So without further ado...

This is Halloween this is Halloween.

To begin, a look at one of my favorite horror/monster movies of all time.

The one, the only...


1987. What a year. This is the first movie that I think (after Ghostbusters) that my brothers and friends and I watched so many times that the tape broke.

We had a copy that had been taped off TV (HBO or Showtime or Cinemax, one of them my parents had and taped this for us). And we had a copy once it was released on home video as well.

I remember falling in love with this movie and just having it be a part of my collective conscious for my entire life. I still remember the music video and the song from this movie and would sing it ALL the time just to freak people out.

So that you get a taste of my life and my idiocy, here it is (linked because of the idiocy of the embed code).

Rock Until You Drop by Michael Sembello

Dance Until Your Feet Fall Off

Seriously. What a stupid song. But what an amazingly 80s song at the same time. It's totally rad. It's beaucoup. It's cool.

Those are lyrics in this damn song. Hilarious. Dance until your heart stops and party til your brains fall out.

Those aren't bad things to teach kids, are they? So what is it about this movie, about this epic film that has stuck with me the whole time?

There are quite a few things really. This was the Goonies for my brothers and I. Goonies really changed a lot of people's lives. It made us all want to be adventurers. But I remember this film much more fondly than Goonies.

Sue me.

It's one of those quirky little dumb movies that passes by a lot of people, and my dad and brothers and I actually searched every single store for the last 10 years for this movie on DVD.

We were so gung ho to get a copy of this that we found that tape that stopped working and tried to watch it. It was horrendous. The quality was crap.

But the integrity of the film was still there.

So when this film FINALLY came out on DVD, you have no idea how excited I was. This was like one of those little nerd moments when your heart actually stops and you don't think it's possible that this movie is actually going to be in your hands soon.

And then you make your way to the local Best Buy or Wal-Mart and purchase the two-disc collected edition and it's really there. And then other fans start throwing parties for this movie and start seeing bits and pieces of it falling into the pop culture all around you.

You realize that you weren't the only one who liked this, or even the only family in the world who watched this movie, and it strikes you as odd, it strikes you as strange.

And then a guy at Best Buy like two weeks ago tries to sell you a copy of this movie.

It's all a little weird. Since I bought it, I feel that it still holds up to the original.

Being a child of the 80s, you know what I mean when I say that most things don't hold up so well. The cartoons that we loved are atrocious and completely created to sell toys (GI Joe, Transformers, Jem, TMNT, everything) and our parents dealt with the brunt of that.

Watching those cartoons now makes you want to cry and makes you want to go back in time and scream at yourself for being an idiot.

But this is about Monster Squad. The movie that solidified my love for all things Stan Winston and all things monster and horror movie.

The monsters that still in my mind shape what Dracula, Wolf-Man, the Mummy, Frankenstein's Monster, and the Creature are supposed to look like in my mind. The movie (besides Real Genius) that made me like Jon Gries (who would later play Uncle Rico in the god-awful piece of trash Napoleon Dynamite).

The movie that gave Tom Noonan something to do besides be the Tooth Fairy or whatever the hell he was in Manhunter. That guy is a creepy weirdo in everything, and I can still see him being a monster in real life.

This is the movie.

The one movie that you hold up to people like your wife, your best friend, people who may never have seen this as kids because they were more wrapped up in Goonies and other films similar to this, and you show it to them, and your nerdy heart is just wrapped up so much in this movie that you remember every little piece of it and you quote the movie as it's happening and it takes all your power not to scream and want to kill them if they don't like it. But then they do.

And everything is completely okay.

So this movie gets to be the first movie, the first thing mentioned about Halloween because it is literally one of my greatest memories of Halloween, of monsters, of everything haunted related.

Shane Black, around the same time, created the characters of Lethal Weapon and went on to do another of my favorite movies Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

Fred Dekker, the poor director of this film, directed Robocop 3 as well. Poor guy has no career now and there is a very funny interview/commentary track with him involved on this film that just completely makes you feel so bad for this guy.

But of course, Stan Winston, the man, the myth, the legend, and the damn monsters he helped create for this film, are what sinks this one in my Halloween Hall of Fame. His Wolf-Man is still the tops. It's still the one that makes the most sense in a realistic form for me, and he has Nards!

So if you've never seen it, a quick plot synopsis for you according to IMDB: 12-year-old Sean Crenshaw and his best friend Patrick are die hard monster fanatics. Along with their friend Horace (nicknamed Fat Kid),junior high tough guy Rudy, Sean's kid sister Phoebe, and little Eugene they come together and talk monsters. But when Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, The Gill Man, and The Mummy come to their small town to get an amulet to control the world, Sean leads his friends into action to protect their town from the forces of evil.

So yes, it's similar to Goonies, but who gives a shit?

Give it a try. This is my pick for best Halloween/monster movie ever (well, one of them).

It's the most fun in my book, and it's just a trip to watch and just pick out goofs, see the character actors from the 80s (like Fred Savage's older brother from Wonder Years (you'll appreciate that SavageAnimal) as well as a few others (the boxer from Snake Eyes and of course Jon Gries)) and there is just too much awesome to pass up in this movie.

Take a look and enjoy.

Next time, Halloween and horror tv shows.

And we'll keep the movies coming as well. Sorry that I didn't share this one with you Gooch. This one I saved for myself.

As well as the next movie I'll be talking about next time or the time after.


Part 71

Horror tv shows, what happened? Why did the evolution of horror on television stop for the most part once we all grew up? What went wrong?

Did I stop paying attention or something?

There are many TV shows that you can start with when discussing horror on television. There were the shows that started the genre of horror on TV, shows that kept them running, and then the shows that just utterly destroy them week after week. I wasn't lucky enough to be alive when the first two shows started, but having seen them, I wish we could go back to that form of storytelling.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents
The Twilight Zone
The Outer Limits

William Shatner's Nightmare at 20,000 Feet

What's so amazing about these television shows is what they did with a very low budget and by today's standards, low special effects. Mostly it was makeup. And beyond that, it was up to the actors to portray the terror that they physically saw or emotionally were dealing with. But every time I hear that opening music or the opening speech/monologue for either of these shows, I get a little hyped up.


Because these were scary shows.

Everyone knows the Monsters on Maple Street. Everyone knows Eye of the Beholder. Everyone knows the gremlin on the side of the plane episode from Twilight Zone and everyone knows who Alfred Hitchcock is and everyone has heard of the Case of Mr. Pelham. There are so many good versions of these shows that it's astounding that by today's standards, horror shows pale by comparison. They really do.

But in not so many words, neither of these shows really fit the broad description of horror as it is today (just like Abbot and Costello meet the Wolfman also doesn't). If you watch these shows today, whether it's a marathon on Sci-Fi or somewhere else, there's no gore. No requisite nudity. No half-naked woman running down the street screaming bloody murder. No idiots in masks that are 7 feet tall holding knives.

These shows actually had the elements of horror in them. They scared the shit out of you because no matter how fantastic they were, they could really happen. You could close your eyes and wake up in a world where your watch can stop time and be damned because of it. These things could really happen, and that was the beauty of what Hitchcock, Serling, and the writers and actors on these shows did.

They scared us by portraying somewhat realistic stories.

Amazing Stories

Bandits 12 O'Clock!

Again, not really a horror show for the most part, it was more along the lines of morality tales. But sometimes those morals were ways to scare your young son into submission. Don't screw with people's emotions. Don't think that something terrible can never happen to you.

My dad really enjoyed driving me nuts.

But not only did this show scare the shit out of me sometimes, it also brought together some of America's best directors and writers on one stage. Created by Steven Spielberg, it featured shows directed by him, Robert Zemeckis, Joe Dante, Mick Garris (mainly of Stephen King horror movie fame), Clint Eastwood, Danny Devito, Irvin Kershner, Martin Scorsese, Bob Balaban, Peter Hyams, Tom Holland, Ken Kwapis, Paul Michael Glaser, Brad Bird, Tobe Hooper, and scores of others.

It brought this amazing group of actors, directors, and writers together to tell stories that could actually happen but incorporated a level of fantasy that took it over the top. Again, more along the lines of Twilight Zone than Saw, this show had the ability to scare you into submission just because a group of men on a World War II jet might not make it home, and any one of these men could be your brother or father or grandfather. That's why this show worked so well.

Tales from the Crypt

It's going to be a Scream!

Ah. HBO's answer to Amazing Stories and the Twilight Zone. With all the nudity and gore we know and love in most horror movies and shows nowadays. Another show that incorporated a large group of big-name directors and guest stars, this show really was all about the darker side of horror. The gruesome. The corrupt. The disgusting. The ghoulish.

And we've all heard the cackle of the Crypt Keeper in our lives and his horrendous puns. But regardless of what you think about this show, it really did take horror in a new direction. It gave it a quick jolt and made people realize that horror could work on television again (as Amazing Stories had lasted only 2 seasons) and it was much better than the remake shows of Hitchcock and Twilight Zone.

But in the evolution of horror, it may become something of a negative note.

Some of the stories in this program (and later movies) relied so heavily on nudity and gore that there wasn't really a story. A story, which was always the best part of the Twilight Zone, was being shipped off in favor of gore and boobs.

And just look at any recent slew of horror movies. The Saw movies especially. For every good horror movie, there are 2 Saws and 2 japanese remakes and 2 slasher flicks and 15 PG-13 rated movies.

None of which rely on story. And yes, horror movies of the 60s and 70s (especially the grindhouse flicks) relied quite heavily on the gore and nudity, but Tales from the Crypt put it back in the forefront. It kicked horror back into the minds of viewers and made them think that this is what horror is supposed to be, as opposed to thinking about something and being terrified by the reality of something like the Twilight Zone stories actually happening. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Eerie, Indiana

Elvis lives on my paper route!

Another short-lived horror show, this time aimed at kids and teens. But I remember loving this show when it was on. I remember watching it with glee every week and seeing what could happen to the children involved. To the patrons of the town. I watched with glee as these people stepped in some nightmare and came out the other side completely corrupted.

The show featured pirates, aliens, ghosts and goblins. Marshall and Simon would always investigate some creepy occurrence and it usually had something to do with cults and cult-like thinking.

The Foreverware episode is the one most people remember. The Tupperware like containers that kept things safe and sound for centuries. I remember being thoroughly creeped out by the idea of being locked away in Foreverware like the two kids of the woman and waking up 40 years later to find my life had passed me by. I remember not letting my parents put anything in Tupperware or sealable lid containers because of that show.

This show didn't last long at all. 19 full episodes. But I still remember it fondly. And it still gives me the creeps. And truth be told, besides this and all the horror movies I had seen as a kid, this is where my full-time love for horror really began.

The Adventures of Pete and Pete

Dare to be Stupid

While not being a full-blown horror show, again, this show had the ability to creep me out completely. Just look at the Halloween episode of this show for ways in which to scare the crap out of kids.

When Endless Mike is holding the chainsaw and kicks the door down, saying Welcome to Hell, you know you're in for a treat. With the countless bullies smashing pumpkins in the streets, this is where most of us as kids got the notion to do just that same thing. To cause havoc. To terrorize people. To TP them and throw eggs at them and wear Halloween costumes not for the sake of candy but the sake and notion of sheer terror being caused, this was the show that put all these thoughts in my head.

This show made a lot of people's lives a living hell.

But just think about the creep factor of this show. A meterman who tells the future. The world's strongest man hanging out with pre-pubescent boys. A bus driver who screams at kids and scares viewers into being submissive while riding their own buses to school. The shop teacher with a claw for a hand. Michael Stipe. The list goes on.

This was just one of those shows that sticks in my head and still creeps me out in every single way. Think about it for just a second and try not to think of the pit stains or the creepy looking citizens in their town.

Just plain weird.

Goosebumps. Ahhhhh Real Monsters. Are You Afraid of the Dark?

All shows for us kids. All shows that owe a lot to what has come before. And if you watch them now, you'll probably think why was I ever scared of this?

Now you might be wondering what this all was brought up for? It was brought to look at how horror has developed on television in the years of my viewing. I could have included Buffy and Angel and Charmed, but these shows were all soap operas. Yes they had elements of creep like demons and death, but for the most part they were about love interests and hooking up than they were about the demons and science fiction.

Television over the years has forgotten what truly makes a horror show a horror show. I've not yet seen True Blood, but I've heard both good and bad things. But for the most part, what horror shows are left?

Reaper doesn't count as it's similar in vein to Buffy and Angel and Charmed. I've never seen Supernatural, but from the way that it looks, it looks like Smallville with Army of Darkness thrown in for good measure.

And it doesn't bode well past that.

Look at Ghosthunters and Scare Tactics. Too ridiculous TV series that are in the "reality" show categories that are similar to the Blair Witch Project and Punk'd more than anything else.

Ghosthunters is just plain awful. We as viewers never see a ghost. We see a light. We see movement that is probably just the person holding the camera's shadow. We see nothing but darkness. Then a loud thud. A scream. A wail. And running.

It might terrify some people, but for the most part, it doesn't do anything for me. Just like the Blair Witch Project before it. I just don't care. So you're in a creepy dark house. Here's a way to fix that. Turn a light on or go outside and never return.

I just don't get scared by that.

And Scare Tactics is even worse. All they are doing is essentially popping out of bushes with masks on and carrying fake knives and playing pranks on people. It's just sad. Really really sad.

It seems like over time, horror on television had its share of ups and downs. But right now, it seems really down. Like we're at a loss for good horror shows. If anyone knows of any, please let me know, as a weekly share of horror makes the heart and body stronger.

But for every Twilight Zone, there is a Scare Tactics. For every Amazing Stories, there's a Blade series. The exchange rate doesn't really work out so well when television nowadays is so awful that the scariest thing on television has nothing to do with horror and everything to do with news. At this point in the world, we need a good scare. One of escapist fashion. One that takes us out of our crummy worlds and puts us in someone else's shoes.

Otherwise, the only horror we're going to get is going to watching the economy continue to flounder and die.

Next time: more movies, costumes, and a little look at some favorite Halloween pranks.


Part 72

This time, we're talking about costumes. Costumes costumes everywhere, what kind of costume do you wear? Yes it rhymes, but you know what, we're talking about Halloween here, so I think it's safe to say that a little dorkiness can be allowed at this juncture.

But seriously folks, as the day is creeping up on us, we're left scratching our heads, and wondering, what do I wear?

What costume accurately portrays me as a human being and allows me to show off for all the people at the party I'm at?

Do I go as something clever, like a light bulb? A red arrow pointing down (real poignant for the times they are a-changing and the stocks they are a-dropping)? Do I dress as a president or a presidential candidate?

Do I dress as my favorite film character, and do I really have time to make a costume for Clarence Boddicker?

For all of us adults, costumes seem to take more work now than they used to. As a kid, I used to dress up and make costumes out of anything in the house. I was Wolverine one year and it involved yellow sweats, blue winter gloves with straws stapled to the gloves and covered in aluminum foil and sheets of construction paper cut out for the black marks on the stomach.

I also used a cardboard box as a turtle shell on at least two occasions and dressed as a ninja turtle.

I went as a Ghostbuster.

I went as a ghost.

I dressed as all the standard things a kid dresses as. I was even a pissed off mail carrier one year, which was a really costume to obtain, truthfully.

It was so much easier as a kid.

Nowadays, I think maybe I should just go as Momar Van Der Camp for H-ween. Maybe I should just become the narrator and disappear into this person that I've created. But where's the fun in that?

So, here are some ideas for costumes that have come up, and some that even might be so do it yourself that you have to do it yourself.

A Lit Cigarette

Fairly simple. You wear all white. White shirt. White pants. Brown shoes. If you want, you can write Marlboro around the bottom of your pant legs to add even more flavor to the cig. And better yet, for the truly lit and ashing look, get some fake hair spray, some of the spray in stuff, and just go to town on your hair with gray hair-spray. And just enjoy the night knowing that the extent of your costume may have included buying a pair of white pants and some hair dye.

Easy right?

You're a cigarette and people will want to actually be around you at this party.

The Dow

A big red arrow, placed on the chest/stomach area, can be used for the stock market, for the housing market, for the job market, or for just a general sense of hope and faith in the American society. Create it with cardboard and construction paper, or just spray paint a big red arrow down your shirt and pants, same scenario. Cheap and easy. Really gets the message across.

Or you could wear a suit and throw a noose around your neck. A lot darker but quick and to the point.

Dillon's Arm from Predator

This is quite a bit more advanced and could take you from finishing reading this blog to the night of Halloween to complete.

Carl Weathers played Dillon with proper gusto in Predator. Now, to be his dismembered arm, you'll probably need a degree in special effects or a shitload of papier-mache, and even then, you might not make a very convincing arm. It might just look like a giant turd. But think of the payoff. If you're a massive fan of Predator, or know someone who is, then this scene is one of those scenes that sticks in your head and will forever stick in your head. So grab some papier mache and get to work, it's gotta look convincing. And buy a toy gun which can be rattled off as the finger is stuck in the trigger.

People will talk to you all night just to figure out what the hell you are.

A Vampire

Boring right? Go to the local Hot Topic and buy one of their black shirts for some heavy metal band you've never listened to or buy one of their long trenchcoats, dye your hair jet black and pull it over your eyes. You're either going to look like a vampire, a giant douche-bag, or someone from the suburbs who thinks his parents don't love him enough.

If you want to turn the concept on its ear, don't wear dark colors. Throw them off and dress like one of the Frog Brothers and just get them where they live. Or if you're sick of dressing with your hair down, use what's left of your hair gel and brush your hair in a crazy fashion. Drop the massive black leather duster and voila, you're now Robert Smith from the Cure.

Just say yes.


Do we really need another person dressing like the Joker this year? No, we really don't. We really really really don't.


This is as easy as getting something ridiculously stupid and putting it together. Stripes vertical and horizontal? Put them together. You're instantly a celebrity and people will talk about your crazy fashion sense. Walk around like you have no care in the world. Don't comb your hair. Don't bathe for at least three days. Wear ridiculously large sunglasses, pout your lips, and flash a peace sign.

You're in Hollywood now, baby.


Again, we really, really, really don't need another person dressing as Batman either. Really. Really really.

Historical Figures

A simple enough idea, but one that can easily be turned on its ears. SLIMMphoto and SavageAnimal I believe mentioned dressing as Zombie Lincoln and Zombie Wilkes Booth. I love that idea. I love the idea of taking something so easy and then making it difficult by adding something to it. Something drastic.

Granted, Zombies and Lincoln don't seem to go together, so instead, I offer another variation on the Lincoln idea.

One which involves quite a few innocent bystanders.

I suggested this to two friends. One dresses as Lincoln while his significant other dresses as Mrs. Lincoln. The other friend dresses as John Wilkes Booth. They find a very public place in midtown during the middle of the day to meet for lunch. Unsuspecting patrons of the restaurant are then rewarded with a little play re-enacting the death/assassination of Lincoln.

Magic and chaos are in the air.

And that leads into my next topic.


Halloween is quite possibly the best time for pranks. We've all smashed a pumpkin or 70. We've all thrown eggs. Lit bags of dog poop. Ding dong ditched.

If you haven't, I feel bad for you.

But being an adult loses the perks of the prank as well. A lot of the pranks we may have gotten away with as kids could now be considered arson. Breaking and entering. Trespassing. They could lead to 2-5 in County. And none of us want that just because of Halloween, do we?

Think about the pranks you did have happen. Think about some of the big ones.

Think about a time when maybe you put up fliers talking about your dad as a pedophile. Tried to convince people in the neighborhood in believing that he was a registered sex offender.

Or think about a time when you put up fliers asking people to call if he was spotted in the area as he was a flight risk and the police were looking for him.

Better yet, think about a time when the prank went so far as to make people believe that your dad was actually Charlie Manson who had escaped from prison and left behind a look-alike in his place.

I have my dad to thank for a big portion of my social awkwardness, so for that, playing pranks on him was always a blast.

But just think about some of the big pranks you've pulled in your lifetime. Think about how much trouble they would get you in now. I'm not talking about going on an open cemetery in the middle of the night. I'm talking about breaking into a cemetery. Going on the hallowed ground and drinking. Going there, breaking into the area, and just partying.

We see movies with that same event all the time and it always ends in a really stupid way. Somebody dies after someone else loses their virginity. Too bad in the real world it usually just involved a lot of drinking and substance abuse.

Think about some of the pranks you've pulled in your lifetime (Gooch, I'm certain you've pulled a few). What would they do to you now? After starting at a new place of business recently, I am afraid of pulling something monstrous on a co-worker. I'm afraid to do something rotten to them.

I'm still going to, but I'm just scared of the consequences.

But Halloween is not about consequences. It's about going all out and having a blast doing it. Just don't get caught.

Spend time making an elaborate costume for yourself. Not to meet a girl. Or a guy. Think about the costume that will be most fun for you to wear and just have at it. You want to dress up as Robocop, you better get to work. You won't be comfortable, but you might have a hell of a time. You want to dress as Raoul Duke and have someone else dress as Dr. Gonzo? Get to work on that too. Not much to it, you just need a fat guy and a balding guy and some really short shorts and an open button down shirt. And a lot of acid.

Halloween is about fun. So go out there and enjoy it once that day comes.

Next time, there might be some more creative costume ideas. Beyond that, I've still got some of my favorite horror movies to drop on you and a few tidbits that may have passed by.


Part 73

I really feel like this is a treat. But it could be a trick. Has anyone seen the preview/trailer for JCVD, the insanely awesome looking new Jean-Claude Van Damme movie? When I say it looks insane, I mean it really looks insane.

Click the link below to see something you'd never think in your life you might see. A movie starring Jean-Claude Van Damme that gets critics excited.

Jean-Claude Van Damme's new film JCVD: official trailer

Let it sink in for just a second. Just sit back and think about what you saw.

A film starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. Playing a variation on himself. In a ridiculous situation where he's getting older (which he really is), is having trouble making money with big movies (which he is), and is having real-life dilemmas like custody battles over his children (which he has). It's a semi-biographical look at the life of Jean-Claude Van Damme.

And critics are going insane for it.

In this Halloween season, the reason I said it had to be a trick was because I kept hearing all the hype. Jean-Claude Van Damme made a movie that people love. Critics are going crazy for it. Talking Oscar (NEVER will happen). And being the general cynic and spoilsport that I am, I had to see it for myself.

Like every young man growing up, I had a love of Jean-Claude movies. Bloodsport. Kickboxer. Cyborg. Universal Soldier. Timecop. Double Impact. Lionheart. These were movies that my dad put on TV that I sat and enjoyed. And then he made Street Fighter and his career seemed to go straight down after that (coincedentally, so did everyone else involved in that movie except for the guy who played Geronimo, Wes Studi).

So when I was told by the various news sites that I frequent that it was all that it could be, I had to watch. And watch. And watch.

I've now seen the preview about 20 times. And it looks like a better look inside a Hollyweird personality than What Just Happened with Bruce Willis and Robert Deniro. And it truly excites me to see Van Damme doing something like this.

He's the aged veteran action star. Just like Arnold. Stallone. Willis. They've all aged. Some better than others. But have Stallone and Schwarznegger really mocked their old ways? Have they taken on a role that seems to be so biographical that it might force the viewer to be sad for them or to think that maybe they aren't perfect?

And who would have thought Jean-Claude Van Damme had a movie like this in him? Definitely not me. My brother is the Van Damme fan. He owns just about every movie he's ever been in. Including the crappy DTV ones that keep coming out every 6 months. So when I told him that JCVD looked like a really awesome movie, one that I was excited to see, my brother couldn't help but wonder if I was kidding.

I wasn't.

This is on my list of movies to see this fall. And it's second to only The Wrestler at this point. How weird is that?

More movies? This time more Halloween tinged possibly. Okay, how about another Horroresque movie that probably won't make the list?

Little Monsters


Fred Savage was on fire that year. From the later on writers of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, the National Treasures, and countless other hit movies (okay like 5 hits and a bunch of crap, but they co-wrote Aladdin, the Disney flick). Co-starring Howie Mandel, Daniel Stern (HA! the dad to Savage's character in this as opposed to his old man voice), Frank Whaley (creepy big brains on Brett from Pulp Fiction), Ben Savage (notice the SavageAnimal connection), Buzz from Home Alone (again playing a Bully), the chaffeur from Blank Check, and one of my first crushes ever was the "love" interest Kiersten.

Such a crazy cool movie. Just watch the trailer.

Little Monsters goofy ass trailer

Trailers used to be short.

And crazy.

But the story of a boy who finds out that there is a secret world under his bed where Monsters reside (made probably more famous by Monsters Inc), Fred Savage tricks Howie Mandel into being his friend monster and gets to go into the world. Where he runs into Snik and a bunch of other craziness.

I remember this movie being super creepy as a kid. I'm sure it sucks now. Having watched the Wizard recently (also from 1989), I realized something, movies we watch when we're kids are just pure crap for the most part.

But this movie held a special place in my heart as a kid. The end song and the beach sequence where Fred calls his parents to apologize for "running away" and to tell them that he is coming home is classic, as is the bum. When Mandel gives the coat to Fred Savage so he has something to remember him by, you get a little tear in your eye remembering what it's like to lose friends as you have to grow up.

When he puts his arm around the girl, you wonder, Jesus Christ was Fred Savage a weird-looking kid.

But in all honesty, this is one of those movies that just sticks in my mind as being a Halloween movie. When Fred and Howie play all the pranks on the parents with the Saran Wrap on the toilets, the ear wax, the cat food sandwich, you have to laugh. And when the other kids get screamed at, you reminisce.

But it's fun. It's goofy. It's a complete 80s movie. And that's the beauty of it. Too bad the next movie scares the utter shit out of me.

Requiem for a Dream

I defy you to find a movie that is scarier than this. Yes, there are movies filled with gore. There are scenes of intense horror in movies like 30 Days of Night or The Thing or the Mist (which will be seen on this list soon enough), but for the sake of all that is holy, no other movie scares the shit out of me more than this movie.

And it boils down to the reality of it.

Fan-Made Trailer for Requiem for a Dream
The actual trailer for Requiem

The movie always comes back to me in some fashion. Usually it's the music. The beautifully amazing music of Clint Mansell and the Kronos Quartet. The wonderful music that will be heard in movie trailers forever and ever from now on. But sometimes it's something much closer to home.

A friend of mine, back around the time when this movie had just come out, was addicted to heroin. He was a great guy, but we all knew he was addicted. We all saw it. He lost weight. He wore long sleeve shirts all the time and long pants. He was gaunt. He looked terrible. He seemed to never sleep. But he was a great guy. When we all found out he was addicted, it was a shock to each and every one of us. We had seen the signs, but until he got in trouble for it, we didn't know what to do.

I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I remember seeing this movie in theaters at the Tivoli. Being blown away by it. Being lost to it. Just blending into that world. And I remember the movie then coming out, getting passed between all of our friends until it finally stopped in his hands. I remember seeing him the night before he watched it and the day after. And I remember the change that took place.

He came to work the next day terrified. He had to change his life. Or he would lose his arm. Or worse.

This movie scared him to leave drugs.

And it's not really a preachy movie. It's just so fucking insane. The imagery of seeing four people devolve to their drug habits. Heroin. Cocaine. Marijuana. And diet pills. It shows them all as equally terrible and destructive, and the movie takes that and runs with it. All four of the main characters in this movie are ruined by their choices, and the reality of what is happening to them is what destroys the viewer.

Seeing Jared Leto shoot heroin into a gangrenous arm is a sight I will never forget. Watching the scene with Ellen Burstyn getting shock therapy will never leave my mind. Nor will that ass-to-ass scene. Or Marlon Wayans running violently down the street in the middle of the night, screaming for dear life.

And my friend never forget either. Last I heard he had a wife and kid. He's been clean for quite a long time. No one is afraid for him.

But anyone who has had someone overdose or had drug problems (I'm sad to say I've been in trouble with them myself) should know that this is just a movie. But it's the most terrifying thing I've ever seen. The book is horrendous to read. It's hard to get through. Because you can see these things happening to people within your circle of friends.

It's still hard to watch. But it's the scariest piece of film I've ever sat through. And it sits near the top of my list of favorite movies. The director is my favorite director all-time. Darren Aronofsky. I'm excited to see his upcoming film The Wrestler, his film The Fountain ranks as my number one favorite movie of all time. Number one. No questions. Nothing (I assume) will ever wrest that spot away.

But this movie is terrifying. And that music will haunt me for the rest of my life.

What are your favorite scary movies? Next time, a few more films should get reviewed as well as some haunted places I've seen and been to in Kansas and Missouri. See you real soon.


Part 74

The scariest film I've ever seen, plus the scariest places I've ever been. All in one blog (because I've gotten pretty notorious for not updating as often as I used to). To all my three fans, sorry. I'm going to try and update more often, but the winds of change are rolling through. We'll see how it goes.

For the scariest film I've ever seen, this side of Requiem for a Dream, is one that a lot of people hold up as there best scary movie. A lot of people still look at this as the Holy Grail of Horror Films.

And no, it's not Halloween.


Man is the warmest place to hide

Just watching the trailer again puts chills down my spine.

One of the few times where I really like the remake more than the original. You all know how much I hate remakes. But this John Carpenter film has everything you could ever want from a horror movie. Snow and ice. Isolation. Unknown intruders. You're completely unsure who to trust and who to hate. Cold. Desolation. Fucked up monsters. Awesome music. Kurt Russell. Keith David.

Mr. Diabetes himself: Wilford Brimley.

This is the height of my love for John Carpenter films. While I don't hold Halloween in the same esteem as some people, I do enjoy the film. I love the Thing. Absolutely positively sit and watch Big Trouble in Little China every single time it's on. Can't get enough of Escape from New York. Love the original Assault on Precinct 13. They Live. Memoirs of an Invisible Man. Prince of Darkness. In the Mouth of Madness. Starman. I even liked Escape from LA.

And this is where you all say, wait, aren't you Gooch?

But see, The Thing is the embodiment of all greatness from the 80s, from horror movies, from Kurt Russell, from John Carpenter, from one of the weirdest things ever on film. I still get scared shitless during snowstorms because of this movie. I always will.

And this movie is so far and away better than that bullshit torture porn nonsense that people seem to love so much that it makes me sick. When people say Saw and all the Saw sequels, Hostels, all those awful movies are what horror is supposed to be, it makes me physically ill. I'm not posturing here. This is the scary movie. The one that will make your skin crawl. It doesn't rely on disgusting amounts of blood and gore. It relies on awesome creature effects. Great acting. An amazing soundtrack. Perfect production values.

And that creepy sense that no one is who they seem. As well as cabin fever (not the shit movie with that name, but actual cabin fever from being stuck in the same place for a long period of time).

This is horror at its finest. When my wife and I went to Universal Studios, they had their Halloween Haunts going on. They are pretty fricking awesome. Truthfully. And for the most part, some are genuinely scary. I went to The Thing with high hopes, and they were sadly trounced. Nothing can compare to that movie. Yes, there are goofy moments (like Russell's hat when he flies), but it's an 80s movie. Another one my dad used to desensitize me to the world we live in.

And every year it's the same thing: let's watch the Thing. So, in honor of this tremendous piece of cinema, do yourself a favor. Don't waste money on Saw 17 or any of those ridiculously stupid movies that are coming out (ESPECIALLY Max Payne) and just rent, or hell, even buy The Thing. Best money you'll ever spend.


I've been to a few in my life. I lived in Lawrence for 4 years so I know a few of the haunts in that area. A lot of you have probably heard about the Haskell Indian Nations University being haunted. I've been there. After midnight. It can be a little creepy. Truthfully. I've been to all the haunted houses in the KCMO area, and not a single one ever worked at scaring me.

Same with Worlds of Fun.

The scariest "haunted" house I've ever been to was probably at Universal Studios. My wife was scared shitless, I had to laugh, but there was one particular house that was creepy as shit. Well, two, and if you ever get the chance, by all means, go for it.

Camp Crystal Lake and one related to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Camp Crystal Lake (god that remake looks like dogshit) was insane. It was located where the Jaws ride is (and anyone who knows Mallrats knows how fun that ride was for me). It's right on the water. Water in the middle of the night, damn near midnight or later, is creepy as all hell. Especially when it's so still. And then a giant dude with a machete is staring you down.

Now if you've been to a haunted house, obviously they can't touch you. But you want to re-enact the actions from those movies. If you're a girl, you want to take your bra and panties off and run screaming into the night (I'm assuming). If you're a guy, you want to act tougher than shit and confront Mr. Vorhees just to get a machete shoved between your ears. Or if you're in a wheelchair, the machete would go right in a forehead and you'd then roll backwards down a massive set of stairs. And Kevin Bacon would dance past you in the night.

But it's creepy. And the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is weird. It's kind of based on the newer movie a little bit (one I have never seen and will never see) and obviously there are a lot of freaks in the house. I kept looking for R. Lee Ermey, but to no avail. The reason this one was so strange and freaky was there is an instance where you're walking toward the back of the home and you have to walk through an area where there are plastic sheets hanging and you're walking blind through them. You have no idea where you're going. Sometimes there might be a guy with a chainsaw there. Other times not.

One in particular I brushed aside a plastic sheet, my wife digging her nails into my back, and then boom, chainsaw right in front of me. My fingers ALMOST got taken off. No joke. It was insane. The guy in costume backed off real quick and cringed like he had almost made a huge mistake.

Talk about a great way to spend your honeymoon.

I mentioned Haskell, and I never found it that scary. Same with Stull. I've been to the cemetery. I never trespassed, but we were there. It's creepy in the middle of the night. What with there being absolutely nothing lit up around you, save your own headlights. At least, that was how it was when I was there. But the sake of testing the theory that anything you throw never lands, I threw a glass bottle. It clunked. It didn't break. But it did clunk and land. Now, I know some people say they've thrown things near this gate to hell and never heard anything land, but I don't know. I heard a distinct clunk. That's it.

I've been to scary places. Atchison. Fort Riley. But the scariest place I've ever been was in Grandview I think, it was an old mental institution that had been converted into a convent. It was creepy as all get out. And because I was there "volunteering" with a group of friends, they put us in the attic to clean some of the storage out. That was the scariest place I've ever been in my life. I can't remember what it was called, and I wish I did, but the attic was all kinds of scary. There was a hideaway shaft with ladder where you could climb to the roof. Very old metal doors that were rusted and sealed shut. We could see the fireplace from the inside. And all I could think was how many dead bodies were stuffed up there?


And that's it folks for this exciting entry. Next time (depending on when I show up), I might have more info on Halloween. If not, I'm sure I'll be ready to bring it back to our regularly scheduled program. One big thing to keep in mind: The new Eagles of Death Metal album is completely awesome. Worth a listen, worth a purchase, get out there and shake your ass to it.


For some fucked up reason part 75 wouldn't copy over. That will be included in the next portion. Stupid thing.


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